Here's How NOT to Dodge Speeding Ticket

File this one in the "dumbest criminals" folder, E3 Spark Plugs fans. Florida man Julius Lupowitz recently got nabbed for his lead food in West Melbourne. But what he did to dodge the $200 speeding ticket coming his way only ended up getting him in far worse legal trouble.

When the officer writing Lupowitz's ticket turned around, the delusional driver got the not-so-bright idea to dial 911 with a bogus claim.

"There's definitely someone going to get shot," he reportedly told 911 operators. "Please, please. Wingate and Hollywood. Please. There's a man with a gun. I see him looking at me but I don't think he sees I'm on a cell phone. I swear I'm so scared I might get killed myself. Please."

Apparently, Lupowitz mistakenly thought that the officer would have no choice but to speed off to an arguably more serious scene. Guess he didn't realize the city is protected by a whole department rather than a single cop. It didn't take long for the officer's cohorts to realize they were chasing a phantom and call the incident back in as a hoax. A quick trace of the 911 call identified Lupowitz as the offender and the ticketing officer heard his name announced over police radio even before he finished penning the citation.

Now, the knucklehead driver is looking at a felony charge and a five-year maximum prison sentence for making false calls to 911. Brilliant.